What’s Your Money Story?

One of my first students at Pockets Change told me, “If I don’t have a plan for my money, my money’s gonna have a plan for me.”

It’s a simple statement that also happens to be some of the best financial advice I’ve ever heard. 

We start forming relationships with money between 3-7 years old; while we’re listening to Elmo sing about getting new shoes or sneaking to the doorway as our parents watch Succession. Fictional characters’ wants and needs fill more than screens; they shape our financial narratives. 

Across storylines, characters exemplify money personalities in action. Every iteration of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles spends their (literally) hard fought loot on pizza, but each member embodies distinct habits & tendencies. That’s why our multigenerational Hip Hop & Finance programs start with finding your money personality. We use a simple, 2 question money personality quiz to determine one of four money personalities. The questions are rooted in financial psychology and behavioral economics.

Through money personalities, Students, teachers, and family members of all ages have been able to forgive themselves and move forward. The 4 personalities are full of relatable tendencies that make sense of the seemingly irrational ways we deal with money. Do you only buy things on sale? You may be a complicator! Do you end up blowing the big check you just got because it was from an Evil Corporation? You might be a money monk.

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The money havers and knowers love telling young adults about the necessity and urgency of making a financial plan. Set long term goals, invest for your future, make a vision board, max out your 401k, build generational wealth. 

Save, invest, and protect the right percentages of your wages, advocate for raises, stick to your plan, and everybody will be wealthy and we’ll have world peace. Do the right thing? Spike Lee made a film about how easy it is to do that.

It’s why many officials want financial education taught as a part of math class. Hard work + discipline = success… except when it doesn’t. 

There’s no mathematical or magical formula for perfecting our finances. Budgets are personal and cash flow projections are literal guesses. If all that seems fake, and made up, good! So is money.

Take a breath. [Editor's note: ‘take a breath’ is the definition of inspiration]

Money is about more than numbers, it’s a tool to create change. As storytellers, content creators, and community builders we have a tremendous power to deconstruct money myths and cultivate empathy for the financial exploitation, discrimination, and oppression young adults are being called to navigate. 

Our research partner, Knology, found Pockets Change’s approach highly effective in building financial resilience through hip hop pedagogy. Through shared practices and resources we have meaningful money conversations across mediums. 

Storytelling creates a transformative space for real, open, and empowering conversations about money. As our students explore their own relationships with money, multimedia creates paths to overcome obstacles, encourage empathy, engage curiosity, and envision possibilities. 

Our shared money stories shift narratives that have held back our communities for generations. We encourage content creators and program leaders to reflect on where financial themes could enrich their next project. 

Bring Money Stories to Life with Actionable Insights:

• Expand storytelling beyond the “middle–class centric” values and assumptions too often depicted. Explore the breadth and depth of how our relationships with money show up.

• Share empowering stories of navigating uncertainty and enhancing financial wellbeing even when money is scarce or employment precarious. 

• Promote self-acceptance and efficacy with the message that “whatever it is you have; these are the ways that you’re able to save and this is what you’re able to do to grow.”  As one individual told us, the program approach was valuable because it taught youth how “not to have money control you.”

A Note from the Gen Z Authors of the 2023 Teens & Screens Report

Less romance and more friendship - this is what the adolescents of our 2023 study have asked to see from media, entertainment & storytellers (among other things).

As researchers in the industry, this felt like a headline-worthy discovery. But as young people, this felt like an idea that could casually blend into our many conversations and reflections on community (or lack thereof) that have been centerstage for our generation this year. 

Late night musings with friends, discourse on social media, and personal meditation on what it means to connect and bond with others have all been consequential “gifts” from the COVID-19 pandemic. The outbreak and the isolation that came with it occupied pivotal years of emotional and relational growth for much of Gen Z, with current high school freshmen being in 5th grade (!) when stay-at-home orders were first announced. 

Even as we’ve returned to more in-person routines, articles and YouTube essays on persisting loneliness continue to float around: some with a more analytical perspective, exploring reasons we may have entered “the Friendship Recession,” others more personal and titled with a simple but heartbreaking “I have no friends.”

So what’s the sitch? Earlier this year, U.S Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared an epidemic of loneliness and isolation, his advisory confirming that the pandemic simply brought an existing issue to the forefront of our collective consciousness. Social connection has already been declining for decades prior, with the rate of loneliness among young adults having increased every year between 1976 and 2019. Quite surprisingly, young adults today are twice as likely to report feeling lonely than those over 65. 

Gen Z is already discussing solutions: #UrbanPlanning on TikTok currently has 434.2M Views, with a frequently discussed topic being “walkable cities” and how they are needed for social well-being. A trending sub-topic is the necessity of “third places,” a social environment such as a bookstore or diner, separate from one’s living or working spaces, “where you relax in public, where you encounter familiar faces and make new acquaintances.” Think Central Perk in Friends! 

The problem is, there aren’t many third places left for young people. From the death of malls, to the criminality of “loitering,” and a transactional culture that demands spending money to hang out in such a place - where do young people go?

Arguably, as “digital natives,” media (particularly, social media) is where young people tend to land on as their third place. 

How does this digital third space contribute to this generation’s collective identity? In our opinion, what’s crucial for storytellers to grasp about Gen Z isn’t the latest slang or weekly trends. Rather, what’s important is understanding the expanded worldview that comes with growing up on the internet and being able to interact with a myriad of different perspectives. What’s important is understanding how the opportunities they’ve had to explore their own identities and understand others’ identities have shifted and changed the kinds of stories they’re open to, the kind of characters they want to see front and center, and the storylines they believe to be authentic. 

And while it’s essential to examine how this “digital native” identity sets Gen Z apart from previous generations, it’s also important to acknowledge that they are the same as previous generations: they are social beings that need face-to-face interaction, something that digital connectedness cannot replace. 

We received the following response from a 12-year-old participant in Oklahoma: 

“The Sand Lot is a baseball movie i like. i wish i could go outside and play like [they] did at the time. today its not safe”

Though simple, his words felt like a poignant representation of what many of our respondents seemed to be hinting at: that the core essence of kids (at heart) and teens will always be the same – from camaraderie to curiosity and a sense of adventure (or even just playing outside) – and it appears that somewhere along the way, this may have been forgotten in storytelling. 

So young people are feeling a lack of close friendships, a separation from their community, and a sense that their digital citizen identity has superseded their sense of belonging in the real world - What can you do about it? 

Well, it goes without saying that life and art are in perpetual conversation with one another. But, we cannot underestimate the role art has in this dynamic: Oscar Wilde shared in his 1891 essay, The Decay of Lying, that despite the existence of fog in London for centuries, its beauty and wonder is noticed because “poets and painters have taught the loveliness of such effects…They did not exist till Art had invented them.” 

Storytelling (as an art) has the incredible power to influence the mood of the zeitgeist and the lens through which people see the world. Ask young people what it is they want to see, then listen: Shine a light on the ideas, characters, and relationships they desire in your stories, and the same light will appear in the real world. 

Rethinking the Digital Detox: How Platforms Can Help Us Achieve Media Balance

I first learned about the concept of digital detox from a YouTube video in which a young tech executive documents his experience with “dopamine fasting”. I came across this concept again in a book I read earlier this year titled The Information Diet, which outlines steps people can take to orient their consumption of media in a healthier direction. While the associations with the terms “detox” or even “diet” are problematic, both properly shed light on this idea that to be healthy media consumers we need to regulate the kinds and amounts of content we consume each day.

The term “digital balance” is much improved because it presents this idea of portion-control and variety in media consumption without the connotation that it ought to be drastic, short-lived, and unsustainable. In a paper out of the Atlantic Marketing Journal, researchers discuss the challenge of navigating our modern media landscape as a “balancing act”, which requires us to understand the nature of different media and their implicit motivations. In the broadest sense, this balance involves three main categories: entertainment-based media, educational media, and screen-free media, each of which offers a distinct form of value to consumers. And even as the lines between entertainment and education continue to blur, with the so-called rise of infotainment, these categories can help us—and our kids especially—to become more mindful media consumers, aware of the importance of variety and apportionment of digital content.

As communications scholar Neil Postman suggests, as the availability of digital media increases, and as this media becomes increasingly entertainment-driven, it becomes increasingly important to moderate the kinds of content that kids can access. For excesses in screen-based entertainment, he argues, can hinder people’s ability to contextualize information and develop the skills to follow complex linear narratives. Similarly, as a paper out of the International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction suggests, spending too much time on television and video games, without supplemental education-based or typographic content, can result in slowed learning. Moreover, the fact that these impacts of entertainment-dominated media are critically understudied means that we should be particularly cautious of such drastic increases in our uptake of digital entertainment. 

Still, balance also means that entertainment-based media can be okay when consumed in healthy proportion to education-based media and off-screen media like reading. In fact, and as reflected in the Surgeon General’s recent advisory on social media and mental health, entertainment-based social media can help contribute to important feelings of connection with others. Media balance is therefore not about labeling individual pieces of content as good or bad, but about figuring out how to moderate the amount of entertainment-based media we consume while ensuring enough time for educational content and screen-free activities. 

Yet media companies aren’t always making it easy for us to do this. The supremacy of entertainment-based media over other media forms, especially paper-based typographic media, narrows the media landscape to a dangerous degree. It’s almost as if today’s media consumers are now shopping exclusively at supermarkets that sell only pasta. Sure, it’s great for one-stop shopping before noodle night, but not exactly ideal for those who want to hit all the food groups. Which is why to help people find media balance, especially porous populations like kids, media companies can play an important role by balancing the media supply in this same way. Just as you can find fruits and proteins and dairy at the supermarket, media companies can help ensure that we have the variety of content that makes media balance possible in the first place.

Entertainment can evidently be found in nearly all media, and there is even research to suggest that it can play an important role in helping kids to process information. But when content offers nothing else besides entertainment, it’s hard to obtain the full scope of cognitive value that media can help us develop. To be clear, I’m not talking about infotainment or other entertainment-as-education conglomerates. I’m talking about the kind of content that offers nothing in the way of learning, morality, or representation; the stuff that is designed solely to divert attention towards the screen. Having media balance can be attained only when content makers and content consumers recognize the importance of keeping this supply of pure entertainment in proportion with educational content and everything else in between. The entertainment industry in particular can do this in four primary ways:

1. Bolstering its collection of educational content

2. Clearly denoting when content is designed to be educational

3. Enabling users to search specifically for more educational content

4. Implementing features that promote greater portion control

When we reconceptualize the concept of digital detox as a more long-term pursuit of balance, we recognize that what’s most important is the collection of our media experiences and not individual pieces of content in isolation. Kids especially can benefit from this notion of balance that complements what they already know about nutrition. Given that our current media landscape tends to skew this balance in favor of entertainment, which carries non-trivial cognitive risks, media platforms should feel empowered to make it easier for people, especially kids, to achieve media balance. And they can do this by maintaining a greater supply of educational content and making it easier for us to portion out how much content we want to consume at any given time. Similarly, we should continue to show kids the importance of screen-free media like reading, which promotes different forms of cognitive development and properly complements other forms of digital media, which are ultimately here to stay.

With proper media balance, we can feel good knowing that we are getting many different kinds of value out of the digital content we consume. And technology platforms are the perfect partners to help us reach these new ideals about balance in the digital age. After all, it’s hard to make it in the world on just pasta.   

Teens Speak Out Research Snapshot: Social Media Regulation

New survey from the Center for Scholars & Storytellers at UCLA finds most teens agree with the Surgeon General’s recent social media advisory, but disagree with new laws

In an effort to bridge the divide between adults and younger generations on the issue of social media and adolescent mental health, we conducted our first Teens Speak Out Research Snapshot to capture the valuable insights of young people on three major policy developments: Utah's parental consent regulations for social media usage, Montana’s TikTok ban, and the Surgeon General's advisory on social media. When teens have the opportunity to share their perspectives they usually have important things to contribute.  So we went directly to 284 teens, ages 13-18, from across the United States to ask them what they think about the laws that are being passed around the country.

“... I don’t think that it should be banned for everybody. I think that our parents should take the time to teach us things that get harmless and things not to do but I don’t think social media should be banned as a whole because it has a lot of positive things although it has negatives too but if we are taught at a young age the difference between good and bad and what not to do and what to do I think it would be OK.”

— 14 Male, Bronx NY

Below we break down the findings.

Montana Bill: TikTok Banned

64% difference between male and female teens about ban

Only 27.5% of all teens said that the ban is a good idea. We wondered who are these teens that agree with banning something they use so much? Turns out when broken down by gender identity, the majority of the teens agreeing with the ban were male. 38.9% male teens agreed with the ban while only 19.7% female teens agreed - a whopping 64% difference. Moreover, teens who identify as non-binary disagreed the most that the ban was a good idea. 

“I believe social media has taught me and many other kids important things about life and has kept us entertained during parts of our life like the pandemic. I feel it is important to let kids express themselves on social media because you are able to meet friends and communicate.”

— 15 Female, Texas

“I think that the internet can indeed be dangerous, but that the restrictions that are being put on young people will overall make their quality of life and mental health worse rather than better.”

— 18 Trans Male, Pennsylvania

With teen girls using TikTok more than teen boys, this difference becomes even more significant.

Utah: Parental Consent for Under 18-year-olds

37% of all teens agreed with this legislation. In this instance, we again saw significant gender differences. Once more, male teens agreed most with the law, followed by females and non-binary teens. With females reporting that they use social media more than males, the fact that males agree more with restrictions about a medium they use least is interesting. While age differences were not significant, not surprisingly, older teens tended to agree more with parental consent than younger teens. 

“I feel like the problem is that social media companies do not take any effort to censor harmful content to minors. When done correctly social media does help many kids socialize and improves their mental health.”

— 16, California, preferred not to state gender/sexual identity

Surgeon General’s Advisory on Social Media

More than double the number of teens agree than disagree that social media use is harming young people’s mental health.

Finally we asked adolescents for their reactions to the following statement from the Surgeon General’s advisory:

“The most common question parents ask me is, ‘is social media safe for my kids’. The answer is that we don’t have enough evidence to say it’s safe, and in fact, there is growing evidence that social media use is associated with harm to young people’s mental health. Children are exposed to harmful content on social media, ranging from violent and sexual content, to bullying and harassment. And for too many children, social media use is compromising their sleep and valuable in-person time with family and friends. We are in the middle of a national youth mental health crisis, and I am concerned that social media is an important driver of that crisis – one that we must urgently address.”

— U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy

A passionate polarity amongst adolescents emerged with 52.4% of teens strongly or somewhat agreeing with the statement and 22.2% of teens strongly or somewhat disagreeing with the statement (the rest were neutral). Gender was not significantly different so we do not report on those differences.

“I think it is definitely true that negative things on social media are harmful to teens. I believe that the positive things outweigh this though and that restrictions or rules can be added to get rid of negative things but positive things can be there still.”

— 15 Female, Maryland

Despite adolescents’ persistent desire for digital connectivity, adults remain doubtful of their ability to navigate the online landscape responsibly. The fear and distrust shared by older generations has manifested in policymakers’ attempts to impose limitations and even outright bans on the very platforms that have become an integral part and for some a vital mental health tool in young people’s lives.

Contributions: Jamie Azar, Dr. Alisha Hines, Emma Terrell, and Dr. Yalda T. Uhls

To see the methodology for this report, click here.

To learn more about the Teens Speak Out Research Snapshot series, click here.

The Push for Authentic Asian American Representation in the Media

AAPI Heritage Month Feature

Jeremy Hsing, director of short films, “Iridescence” and “Fish” has been searching all his life for the perfect way to weld his creative pursuits with his self-exploration journey. In this quest to express himself and his culture, Hsing found a passion for filmmaking and uses his writing and directing skills to tell his stories and inspire others to do the same. 

“Iridescence,” his short film on his experiences with family, love, and mental health within underrepresented communities, was his bold introduction to the film world. Hsing called the difficult but rewarding process of making it and sharing it his own personal form of exposure therapy.

“It’s a short that combined intergenerational healing with my Asian American culture and also has some magical realism with its animation sequence,” he said. 

Hsing wrote, produced, and directed the film himself, learning as he went along and pouring his life into every scene and frame. His vulnerable depiction of his mental health struggles found an audience in his family and opened the door to important conversations that Hsing said felt lacking in his family and within his Asian American culture. 

“I didn’t make it for the art, I made it for the message and I think the message really resonated with my family, both immediate and extended. It opened up our conversation and made us all more open about mental health.”

For Hsing, being able to tell his story and have his family listen, and challenge some of the stigmas of mental health, was the first step to change. 

“I think it's a generational, cultural stigma that manifests in different ways for each family, but there is that overarching theme of ‘I went through all this stuff in my life and experienced all this hardship, so whether it's unconscious or not, I displaced it onto the next generation’” he said in explanation of the often implicit stress this generation of POC, particularly those whose parents are immigrants, can feel. 

“My goal, because of the privilege that I have in being born after these generations of hardship, is to try to end that intergenerational cycle so that if I have kids one day, they don’t have to experience trauma.”

Hsing’s demonstration of art and film as a way to change the lives and minds of everyday people is one of many examples of the power of media. Stories and the way they are told have the intimate ability to challenge ideas, beliefs, and stereotypes and in their place plant richer, more accepting narratives.  

He finds inspiration in the Asian films Hollywood has produced lately, specifically diverse stories that pave the way for those who want to subtly but powerfully incite change and understanding with their content. It is the path he took and he was grateful in acknowledging that change is a slow but steady process – in the film industry and within himself and his family.

“Every generation of my bloodline, I guess, becomes slightly more progressive and open to deviating from the social norm, so I am a byproduct of that, for which I’m grateful.”

However, the media, much like the humans that create it, is still full of many biases and unfair depictions of people and cultures. Particularly during Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month, we recognize the lack of representation being offered and more than that, the harmful, stereotypical representation of Asian Americans that often is seen in TV and film.

While a lot of progress has been made with movies like “Crazy Rich Asians” or the Netflix series “Never Have I Ever,” there is still a well-placed burden on directors to create work that addresses not only inaccuracies in cultural depictions but also seamlessly weaves said culture into the everyday lives of characters in a subtle and destigmatizing way. 

“Pieces shouldn’t rely on cultural cliches; all of these characters are their own and human and I feel like that's what makes stories so successful. Not that they are an Asian cast, but because it's just a really good story, those are the type of stories that I want to tell,” Hsing said when asked about the current Asian American representation in television and film.

For Hsing, the strongest stories are about real people and cultures, a truth that you believe in. Lived experiences breed the best storytellers and much like other young, diverse creators, he was grateful for the chance to share an authentic part of himself through his films. 

Hollywood can take a page out of his book and, as Hsing highlighted, realize that the richest and best form of representation are films and shows that don’t play on or rely on the typical cultural stereotypes or ideas one unfairly associates with Asian Americans. 

“I think that media and art hold a lot of merit to society and society in the United States is becoming more diverse by the day. I don’t even think it’s performative, I think it’s just accurately reflecting what society is.”

Especially now during AAPI Heritage Month, it is more important than ever to recognize the struggles this often marginalized community faces and the valuable stories they can offer the world. Creating the space to share these stories and intently listening and learning is the responsibility of every creator and consumer. Whether it be to combat the very real generational trauma Asian Americans experience or a way for us to learn and work on our own inherent biases, Hsing has shown that while the media can perpetuate negative stereotypes, it can also beautifully change them, one family and one young creator at a time. 

Mireille Karadanaian

CSS Intern

Q&A with a Mental Health Professional: Vicki Harrison, MSW

Vicki Harrison, MSW

We asked teens from around the United States to anonymously send us questions that they would like to be answered by a mental health professional. Below, Vicki Harrison, MSW, Program Director for Stanford Psychiatry’s Center for Youth Mental Health & Wellbeing, thoughtfully answers some of these questions.

1. How do you approach someone you think needs help?

Start by listening. Reach out with simple phrases like “I’m worried about you. Is there anything I can do to help?” or “I’m here for you if you ever want to talk.” This can start over text or chat if that feels easier. If they open up, be an active listener, really letting them share and not jumping in right away with suggestions and solutions.

2. What is the best advice to give to our friends who might be experiencing depression other than telling them to go see the psychiatrist?

Start with offering validation and empathy before giving advice. Let them know you believe their feelings are real and that they deserve to feel better. Offering to connect them with a trusted teacher, a counselor or with an anonymous peer support line like Teenline could help. If you have been through something similar, sharing your experience and what helped you or didn’t help you can be a support to someone who is struggling.

3. How do I know if I need help?

If you are unsure whether you could benefit from outside help, don’t hesitate to ask. Some young people tell us they don’t feel like their problems are “serious enough” to be worthy of professional help, thinking it is reserved for others. Everyone deserves the opportunity to express their feelings, seek help and to feel supported, no matter how large or small the challenge. There is no magic threshold of symptoms that you first need to cross. In fact, addressing problems early is precisely how you prevent them from getting worse and will give you better chances for improving more quickly. Sometimes simply having one or two conversations with a trusted adult, peer or a mental health professional can be all you need to work through difficult feelings.

4. How do I tell my parents if I feel like I have depression or a mental health disorder?

Asking for help can be incredibly scary. There is still a lot of stigma around mental health and this can lead us to feel ashamed to speak up or somehow like asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure. The stigma comes from misguided messages from our cultures and histories that we’ve internalized and thus impose upon ourselves and our families. The truth is, asking for help is incredibly brave. And although it’s scary, telling someone what you are feeling can feel like a weight off of your shoulders. Saying the words out loud helps to externalize the feelings, getting them out in the open where you can more easily work through them with the support of someone who cares about you. If you don’t feel like you are getting the support you want from your parents, try talking to a trusted teacher or counselor at school or someone in your faith community who you think might be willing to listen without judgment.

5. How can you explain the true effects of mental illness to someone who doesn't experience it themselves?

It can be hard to explain this and for others to truly relate. Mental health professionals can help explain symptoms and impacts to family members because they have a lot of experience doing so. Trusted resources like NAMI offer a lot of resources including videos and written descriptions of mental health symptoms. Another option is to point to articles or online communities where people with lived experience of mental illness have written about their stories in beautiful and descriptive ways. Examples of these include The Mighty and TeenzTalk.

6. How can I feel like I’m doing something important?

This is such a great question for all of us to ask ourselves. Finding meaning and purpose in your life goes hand in hand with mental wellness. And research shows that giving to others through self-less acts boosts both mental and physical health. More and more, the prevailing cultural narrative seems to reinforce a very narrow view of what happiness and fulfillment look like. Yet what we feel connected to and driven by is unique to each and every one of us and those who simply seek out status, power or wealth often end up feeling unfulfilled. So don’t be afraid to try out new things, especially those that serve others. Grounding yourself in a higher purpose and/or finding and pursuing what motivates you can serve as an anchor and motivating force, especially during periods of struggle.

Vicki Harrison, MSW has over twenty years of experience working within the public health, education and mental health sectors developing innovative, community-based programs at the local, state and national levels. As Program Director for Stanford Psychiatry’s Center for Youth Mental Health & Wellbeing, she implements a broad portfolio of community-based projects promoting wellbeing, early intervention and increased access to mental health services for young people ages 12-25. This includes allcove - a first of its kind integrated youth mental health model in the U.S. and a national Media and Mental Health Initiative, partnering with the media, mental health and technology sectors to enhance the positive impact of media on youth mental health and wellbeing. She also serves as a founding member of the TikTok Content Advisory Council.

Q&A with a Mental Health Professional: Maryam Kia-Keating, Ph.D.

Maryam Kia-Keating, Ph.D.

We asked teens from around the United States to anonymously send us questions that they would like to be answered by a mental health professional. Below, Maryam Kia-Keating, Ph.D., a Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB), thoughtfully answers many of these questions.

1. What’s the best path to take to help mental health?

If you suddenly had to run in a race, you would be so relieved, and have an easier time, if you had been exercising and training all along, up to that minute. In fact, instead of worrying, or being overwhelmed, you might think to yourself, “I’m ready for this!” Stressful events in life are like that sudden race: they aren’t predictable in terms of timing, but they are predictably going to happen, in that all of us have to be ready to face significantly stressful life events. The more prepared you are ahead of time for the bumps in the road, the better. And the more you “stay in shape” with your mental health, the easier it is to get through the parts of life that sometimes feel more like an endless and exhausting uphill climb, than a bump. The best path to take to help mental health is by having your mental health toolkit ready. Here are five key tips:

1. Find and nurture your relationships and support systems.

2. Make it a priority to find and then regularly participate in activities that bring you joy and meaning.

3. When possible, minimize your exposure to extreme stress, such as monitoring how much you watch media content that includes violence or other upsetting news items.

4. Practice mindfulness.

5. Take care of your physical health by eating healthy, getting regular exercise, and avoiding harmful substances.

2. How do you get diagnosed with a mental health disorder? What does the process look like?

If you are concerned about your mental health, want to get a mental health check-up, or just want some support, you might seek out a formal appointment with a counselor/therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. These licensed professionals can diagnose you with a mental health disorder once they have completed an in-depth evaluation of your symptoms. In the U.S., mental health professionals use a manual known as the DSM-5 which provides the standard classification system to diagnose a mental health disorder. Just like anytime you see the doctor, they will do their best to gather information about what you are experiencing, and how it is impacting your life, as well as what other factors may be at play. Usually, that means asking you a lot of questions, and sometimes it also means having you fill out some questionnaires.

3. How do you know if it’s just a phase or if you actually have a mental health disorder? 

A licensed mental health professional is the best person to help you sort out whether something is just a ‘phase’ and/or if you have a mental health disorder. But remember, just because you get diagnosed with something doesn’t mean you will have it forever – it could technically be ‘just a phase’ too. Just like any illness, you are capable of healing! In order to figure out what’s going on for you, you might be inclined to start with a Google search BUT it’s important to not just rely on what you read on the internet for several reasons. First of all, you can run into inaccurate information there. Second of all, once you start reading, it’s common for people to feel like they might have every condition they read about even when they don’t (commonly known as “medical student syndrome”). Third of all, seeking out proper support early can only be helpful in preventing a mental health disorder. So there’s really a lot of reasons to get a professional evaluation, and assistance to help you through a difficult “phase,” no matter how short or long it lasts.

4. How do I know if I have depression? 

Typically, you’ll notice that your mood is low for most of the day, nearly every day. You’ll also experience some related symptoms such as a change in your appetite, energy, thought process, ability to concentrate or make decisions, and/or ability to experience pleasure in things you used to enjoy. Sadness is a normal part of life, and in many cultures, it’s encouraged to be embraced as a tool that can help you reflect and bring you guidance. However, if these symptoms are getting in the way of your functioning, lasting for longer than two weeks, or are accompanied by thoughts about hurting yourself, you should immediately tell someone supportive in your life, and seek treatment from a licensed mental health professional and/or a medical provider.

5. How do I deal with nighttime anxiety?

It’s always helpful to get support from loved ones. Licensed mental health professionals can guide you in coping with nighttime anxiety. Some methods that tend to be useful in addressing anxiety include 1) creating a calming nighttime ritual (also making sure to “unplug” from devices early), 2) having a daily meditation or mindfulness practice that helps keep you grounded and provides you with some breathing techniques, 3) exercising consistently which has benefits for your body from the inside out, and 4) avoiding substances that can increase your anxiety, including caffeine, and sugar. 

6. How can you prevent anxiety from taking over your daily life? How do you contact a therapist for anxiety issues?

The best trick is to just keep living, and give yourself that extra push to get through activities that your anxiety tries to get you to stop. The more you avoid activities, people, or places that make you anxious, the more the anxiety stays rather than dissipates. So, instead, commit to yourself that you will continue to embrace and seek life’s adventures whether or not your anxiety is coming with you on that journey. Accept that it might be there sometimes but know that it is most likely to go down over time, especially with anything you practice and have repeated exposure to. Seek help from a mental health professional for guidance and support in dealing with your anxiety – therapy can be incredibly useful for people who experience anxiety and know that the work you do for a short amount of time in therapy can last a lifetime. You can get a referral from your primary care provider, or look over a list of providers and directly contact one of the mental health professionals to schedule an appointment via phone or email, depending on what contact information they offer. Typically, providers will list their areas of expertise, so look for someone who lists anxiety as one of the issues they treat.

7. How do I know if I have gender dysphoria?

According to the DSM-5, gender dysphoria is defined as clinically significant distress or impairment related to a marked incongruence between your expressed gender (i.e., how you experience your gender) and your assigned gender (i.e., what your gender assignment was at birth) for at least 6 months. You also have to experience several other criteria, including a strong desire to be of another gender, which might include the strong desire to change primary and/or secondary sex characteristics, to officially receive the diagnosis of gender dysphoria. It can be helpful to seek support from an affirmative, licensed mental health professional for support, especially if you are experiencing significant distress or impairment (such as in relationships, school, or work) in your functioning.

8. How can I stop doing self-harm?

It’s important to recognize that self-harm is never going to provide you with a lasting solution, and it could ultimately cause you some serious consequences, so it’s great that you are motivated to stop. Seeking help and getting appropriate treatment from a licensed mental health professional can help you learn some healthy ways to cope, emotion regulation strategies, how to tolerate distress, how to improve your relationships, and mindfulness skills. These kinds of strategies can help support you to stop self-harm, and to prioritize self-care and self-compassion.

9. What are some distinct differences between ADHD and Autism? 

There’s a lot of overlap and researchers are still trying to better understand the relationship between ADHD and Autism. It’s notable that approximately 30-80% of children with Autism also meet criteria for ADHD, and 20-50% of children with ADHD also meet criteria for Autism, so you can see that the two issues can go hand-in-hand. Social skills, language delays, and attention problems can impact people with either diagnosis. That said, someone with ADHD might be more likely to have difficulties with sustained attention, difficulties with organizing tasks or activities, high activity level, impulse regulation, or forgetfulness. Someone with Autism, on the other hand, may be more likely to experience difficulties in social interactions and communication, difficulties maintaining relationships, repetitive behaviors, and restricted interests.

10. How do I know the difference between having ADHD and just being lazy?

Most of us feel lazy at one time or another. Some of that feeling might relate to exhaustion, boredom, lack of motivation, or not enough reward to outweigh the draw of doing nothing. The main difference is that someone with ADHD (which only has a prevalence rate of 7-12%), has impaired executive functioning, and, at a neurobiological level, is experiencing difficulties with planning, organizing, and managing their impulses. Either way, if you are struggling with some of these tasks, it’s always a good step to get professional support in order to not only sort out the causes, but also find some solutions together.

11. How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

There are a number of different ways in which eating disorders will manifest themselves—including restricting food intake, excessive exercise, binging, purging, preoccupation with food, and feelings of loss of control about eating. The bottom line is that it relates to an unhealthy relationship with food and your body, and can include unhealthy behavior patterns, low self-esteem and self-worth, and difficulties in relationships. Engaging in disordered eating patterns can have long-term, severe negative health consequences. Thus, it is especially important to check with both a medical and licensed mental health professional to assess and get treatment for your health and mental health related to eating, nutrition, and learning healthy patterns.

12. Does Bipolar Disorder affect everyone the same way, with the same extent of highs and lows?

 Symptoms and severity of Bipolar Disorder can vary quite a bit. Some people have years without symptoms. Some people can experience rapid shifts between highs and lows. Although genetics play a part, studies of identical twins demonstrate that genetics don’t fully determining the outcomes – one identical twin might have Bipolar Disorder while the other does not. If left untreated, Bipolar Disorder can get worse. It’s best to seek help from a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist who can provide treatment and guidance towards creating a long-lasting, consistent healthy lifestyle.

Maryam Kia-Keating, Ph.D. is a Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara (UCSB), where she oversees the Trauma & Adversity, Resilience & Prevention (TARP) research lab. She is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and a key collaborator with the Center for Scholars & Storytellers. Her education and training were completed at Dartmouth College, Yale University, Harvard University, Boston University, and the University of California, San Diego. Her interviews on ways to protect mental health and promote resilience have been included in outlets with high volume readerships, including the Washington Post, ABC news, CNN, and Self Magazine. Her website is www.kiakeating.com and she is on Twitter @drkiakeating. 

What Should an Alcohol Problem Look Like On-Screen?

Take a moment to picture someone who has a problem with alcohol. A “drinking problem.” 

Got it?

If your notion of “drinking problems” is informed mostly by film, chances are the person you just pictured meets a couple of common stereotypes. Their drinking is visibly raucous (the life of the party!), or visibly lonely (alone in their basement). Or maybe their life is quite palpably falling apart: their family is worried, their friends are watchful, their employer is ticked off.

If, on the other hand, your awareness goes deeper than that – if you have personal familiarity with “drinking problems”– perhaps you pictured someone you know. Maybe you pictured the distinctly affected way that your sister gazed at you, gazed blearily at the world, after a couple of drinks. Maybe you remembered how your best friend in college would sink into a corner, sink into some unknowable reality, bottle in hand. Or maybe you grabbed a snapshot of yourself – the first time that you didn’t study quite hard enough for a test because you were hungover. That time when you hurt a friend’s feelings while drunk. The time you opted out of doing something important, something meaningful, something way more you – because hitting the bars sounded like more fun. 

Maybe you remember asking yourself: Does she have a problem? Do I have a problem? before quickly dismissing it.

After all, your drinking – her drinking – most drinking – doesn’t look like “problem drinking” in the movies. For that reason, we don’t often confront it. As storytellers, it’s up to us to change the narrative, to change what people picture when they picture an alcohol problem.  

Alcohol use disorder: an invisible problem

It may seem counterintuitive to refer to alcohol use disorder, or AUD, as “invisible.” After all, alcohol is a key player in thousands of car crashes, deaths, and sexual assaults annually. The CDC estimates that the cost of excessive alcohol use is 249 billion dollars every year. Far from being “invisible,” alcohol use disorder seems like one of the most obvious problems we have. (Although, in 2021, it’s facing stiff competition.)

In part, that’s true: many signs of alcohol use disorder are obvious. The Diagnostic & Statistical Manual – 5, as well as two of the most commonly used screeners for AUD - the CAGE and the AUDIT - include visible, clear-cut indicators of problem drinking. Things like: People criticizing drinking. People expressing concern. Drinking first thing in the morning. Injuring oneself or others while drinking. Failing to fulfill major obligations. These are visible signs that someone has a “drinking problem.”

And yet, these screening tools include just as many symptoms of alcohol use disorder that are totally invisible. For example, there’s the feeling you need to cut down. There’s the desire to cut down, followed by unsuccessful attempts. Sometimes those attempts are unsuccessful due to strong desires, urges, or cravings. (And it’s not always “the shakes”; sometimes, these cravings are purely psychological.) There’s telling yourself, “I won’t,” followed by “maybe I will.” There’s saying “Maybe just one,” followed by maybe just three. And there’s guilt about drinking – So. Much. Guilt.

For some, there’s the feeling of being less oneself while drunk: the feeling that a small part of oneself has been lost to the subtle erasure afforded by alcohol. Sometimes, this erasure of self is welcome: a little less perfectionistic. A little less attached to expectations. Sometimes, it’s less welcome, as the activities that we used to prioritize are quietly displaced by alcohol.  

Here’s my point: The empirical criteria at the heart of alcohol use disorder are, quite often, invisible. On-screen, the pre-game or the frat party might be likely habitat for AUD, but this disorder can just as easily inhabit a quiet night of board games, a dinner date with mom or dad, or a weekend with a good book. If you’re a storyteller, this raises important questions: How do we tell a truer story about alcohol use disorder? How do we make the invisible visible?

Actionable insights: Making the invisible visible  

Here are empirically supported ways to tell a truer story, and to help your audience spot the signs of alcohol use disorder in themselves. 

• Obsessing: After a character drinks – regardless of whether the drinking was uneventful or disastrous – they are soon eager to drink again. They are already thinking about the next opportunity to drink. This is especially key in young characters, who may not have constant access to alcohol. It’s not always about drinking regularly; sometimes, it’s about thinking about drinking regularly.

• Wondering: In thinking about her alcohol use, a character asks herself, Is this normal? Could my drinking be a problem? Perhaps she floats this idea by others. It isn’t often that people without a drinking problem repeatedly wonder if they do, in fact, have a problem. 

• Disappearing: When a character drinks, his countenance and behavior is significantly different from when he is sober. He seems to be seeking a break from simply being himself. He craves permission to be someone different. Something fundamental to the character has vanished, and he is happy to see it go.

• Erasure: Think about the long-term consequences of disappearing, of shooing away these fundamental pieces of oneself. Over time, it culminates into a less colorful, less varied, and less individualized life. In the context of a character’s timeline, the introduction of alcohol might correspond with a gradual diminishing of self. 

Getting personal

Remember that friend who sinks into the corner? The sister whose hazy eyes betray that, inside, a fundamental piece of herself has drifted away? 

That was me.

Within six months of my first drink, I suspected that I had a problem. Four years later, I got help. In between, I told myself that I couldn’t possibly have a problem. I just couldn’t. Drinking problems are easy to spot, I thought, reflecting on the portrayals of problem use I’d seen in books and on screen. That’s not me.  

That’s what the media had taught me: drinking problems are obvious. They are sometimes wild. They are, at the least, a little messy. And so, I thought, the college student voluntarily reading her fifth empirical article that evening, getting up intermittently to refill her glass, could not possibly have a problem. 

But I could. I did. And if I’d ever seen a relatable portrayal of alcohol use disorder on-screen, maybe I would have done something about it sooner. Maybe the cognitive dissonance would have caught up to me a little quicker. It’s time to give your audience that chance. Teach them something different about alcohol use disorder.

Anna Joliff, she/her/hers, MS Counseling Psychology

Research Specialist for the Social Media and Adolescent Health Research Team (SMAHRT)

How to Support Mental Health in People with Autism

A new study suggests that autistic individuals have higher levels of stress and depression when they don’t feel accepted.

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

Mental health among autistic individuals is an underdeveloped area of research—a situation that many autistic people are advocating to change. This is especially crucial since rates of depression and thoughts of suicide are higher among autistic people than in the general population.

But why would there be a stark difference in the mental health and well-being of autistic people compared to “neurotypical” people? A recent study, one of the few looking at this issue, set out to examine the importance of acceptance.

One hundred eleven autistic individuals in the U.K. filled out online surveys about their levels of acceptance—from themselves and society—and their depression, anxiety, and stress. Authentic autism acceptance would imply “an individual feeling accepted or appreciated as an autistic person, with autism positively recognized and accepted by others and the self as an integral part of that individual,” the study explained.

The results? As predicted, those who felt less accepted by others and by themselves showed higher levels of depression and stress.
When asked about societal acceptance, 43 percent of participants said they did not feel accepted by society in general, and 48 percent said they did not feel accepted sometimes.

In describing their experiences of not feeling accepted, respondents most often alluded to “misunderstandings and misconceptions about autism, experiences of masking/camouflaging,” and other issues, the study authors report. Masking and camouflaging refer to an autistic person making efforts to “pass” as neurotypical and the stress and exhaustion that result from that. It makes sense that feeling pressured to hide a part of yourself would result in higher stress and a tendency toward depression, given how critical social relationships and a sense of belonging are to well-being.

On the other hand, there was no significant link between autism acceptance and anxiety. The researchers postulate that anxiety can come from a host of sources for the autistic person; acceptance may not be as primary as, for example, the sensory sensitivities that can accompany autism.

So how can we support the mental health of autistic people?

According to the researchers, one factor that can contribute to acceptance is how we think about autism—in particular, whether we embrace the “neurodiversity” framework and a social model of disability, as opposed to a medical one. Neurodiversity is a way of conceptualizing mental differences as part of natural human diversity, as opposed to pathologizing some neurological makeups (such as autism) as abnormal. The social model of disability focuses on systemic factors within society that disadvantage particular people, whereas a medical model sees certain people as intrinsically, biologically disabled when they differ from a perceived norm.

The results of this study also indicate that we should pay greater attention to the stressful experience of “masking,” and ways that friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and family members can deepen their understanding of the autistic experience and help autistics feel seen for who they are.

A great place to start is to follow the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag on Twitter (an online social media movement whereby autistic voices are amplified with the slogan “nothing about us without us”), as well as the blog of autistic scholar and activist Nick Walker and my own The Neurodiversity Project. Learning about topics such as sensory sensitivities, heightened empathy (as opposed to lessened), and other unique autistic experiences can go a long way in understanding autistic people in our lives.

This particular study is noteworthy for surveying autistic individuals, as opposed to simply reporting professionals’ views of them. With greater self-acceptance and societal acceptance, autistic people may be able to foster a larger sense of belonging and agency, thereby reducing feelings of isolation, loneliness, and depression—all critical for mental health.

Jenara Nerenberg

Author of the acclaimed book Divergent Mind

Creator of The Neurodiversity Project and The Interracial Project

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

How Adults Can Support the Mental Health of Black Children

Psychologist Riana Elyse Anderson explains how families can communicate about race and cope with racial stress and trauma.

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

With his last breaths, George Floyd called out, “Momma!” before he was killed in Minneapolis. He was one of nearly 1,300 black people who have been killed by police in the last five years. They are two times more likely to be killed by police than white Americans.

Facing destructive policies and attitudes in the United States, mothers and fathers try to safeguard their black children from racism. This often takes the form of preparing them for bias and communicating the real threats to their lives from a history of othering that continues today. But it also involves highlighting how to draw from a well of strengths that black culture and black families—immediate, extended, and historical—possess.

To better understand this process, we interviewed Dr. Riana Elyse Anderson, clinical and community psychologist and professor of public health at the University of Michigan. Anderson developed Engaging, Managing, and Bonding through Race (EMBRace), a program to help families communicate about race, cope with racial stress and trauma, and build strong relationships and well-being. Below, she explains how black parents can support their children’s mental health, and their own.

Maryam Abdullah: Your research focuses on how black families use racial socialization to protect their children in the face of pervasive racial stress and trauma. What is racial socialization?

Riana Elyse Anderson: Socialization, generally, is the statements that parents are making to their children about how to think or behave in the world. Some common examples of that might be “Look both ways before you cross the street,” or “Don’t touch that iron. It’s hot.” For gender socialization, we’re familiar with suggestions of which sports to play between girls and boys, as a crude example.

Racial socialization is the behaviors and the attitudes being passed down from parent to child with respect to race in particular. Some of those might be wearing certain kente cloth if you’re going to celebrate Kwanzaa or if you’re going to the National African American Museum in Washington, D.C., to celebrate your culture. Those are some of the more positive ones. Unfortunately, we also have to think about “Keep your hands on 10 and 2,” “You can’t wear your hoodie in the store,” or “You have to work twice as hard to get half as far” as some of those elements that are part of “the talk,” the racial socialization talk.

MA: How does racial socialization help black children cope with racial stress?

REA: We’re talking to our children about what it is that mommy or daddy experienced or what they see in the world. We’re able to have that conversation between parent and child, rather than the children not really having a space to ask what’s going on and why so many people are upset or frustrated—or seeing people like them on the news either being snuffed out or arrested for uprising, and then wondering or just keeping it to themselves. That opens up lines of communication, and it doesn’t stop there.

After that line of communication opens up, we get to practice and talk through what it is that we would want to do as a parent or as a child—a series of coping strategies. Do I want to sit here on the couch? (which is totally fine if I want to do that). Do I want to go out and protest? Do I want to write a letter to someone? Do I want to not support a certain business? Now I have options of the things that I want to do, and I feel more efficacious in my ability to execute any of them because I’ve talked with my family about that.

Talking to our family, thinking about strategies, and supporting our children in their ability to execute those strategies is how racial socialization works.

MA: In EMBRace, children and parents work together on a variety of practices. Can you share one?

REA: We use a family tree exercise. Before we even meet with the family about their family tree, we ask them to do some digging. Tell us a bit about who your family members are, who your support system is, then go ahead and put that on this family tree.

Then, demonstrate on this family tree how big and resourceful your community, your garden, your village is. Now you’re seeing, OK, my grandma is with me, my aunts are with me—especially as a child, I can rely on all these people.

And even though I don’t know Michelle Obama, she feels like an auntie to me, so I’m going to put her on my [family] tree. We have a space for greater community influences. OK, Rosa Parks passed away before I was here, but I know that there are streets named after her in Detroit and she’s given a lot of support to black people like me, so I’m going to put her [on].

You start to understand there are people who have come before you and who will come after you who will continue this really rich tradition of who we are and how wonderful our people are. You’re now demonstrating and seeing that I have a whole community who has my back in a time where George Floyd’s life was taken from us in the most violent and visible way. To know that there are millions of people, who now count him as our brother and that he now has as his family, continuing on his legacy, speaks to what it is that we’re trying to do here within EMBRace. We have a whole group of people who are going to support you should you need us. You don’t have to take this racist event by yourself. You can come to your family and that family is an extended family.

MA: What’s important for parents to know about when and how to speak to their young children about racism?

REA: I want you to think about this concept of racial literacy that psychologist Dr. Howard C. Stevenson talks about. Racial literacy pretty much means you’re not going to give a Shakespearean novel to a three year old. You’re going to give an age-appropriate reading book or coloring book to that child, and you all are going to work up gradually to the understanding of what literacy means for their age. We don’t ask you to go beyond your child’s level.

When we’re saying we’re afraid to talk to our children about race, it’s not for them; it’s because we are afraid, if we’re being honest. We don’t know how to talk about it and we’re concerned. What we encourage in EMBRace is to think about your competency, rather than your content—to focus first on building your own skills, confidence, and resilience to stress in these conversations before talking with children. 


• Skills: Becoming more skillful at these kinds of interactions might involve preparation for and practice using inquiries or questions to ask our kids: “What did you notice?” or “How did that make you feel?”

• Confidence: Confidence comes from practicing it more. Maybe that means you practice with yourself in the mirror like you do when you go to your job interview. Maybe you practice it with your loved one. You’re unpacking for yourself first.

• Stress: If you go into it without having spoken about it, without thinking about what it means for yourself, you’re going to be highly stressed the entire time you talk to your child. But you can focus on “What are the things that are within my control when I talk to my child? Maybe I can’t change the entire police system, but I can help my child to navigate that one specific thing that they have going on. What can I do today?” That will reduce stress in that moment, along with practice and with inquiry-based questions.

Your child is never too young to have any discussion about it, but you don’t want them to have the most stressful and the most strenuous conversations. You’re the expert, you’re the parent, you already know what [the right level of conversation] is. It’s time for you to take your fear away from your child being the best that they can be.

MA: What further advice do you have for parents right now as they help their children cope with the trauma of current events?

REA: We’re thinking about this idea of “the talk.” Sometimes people have it once and they say, “Done. Great. Did my job.” Then they walk away.

If you think about how frequently you have to tell your child to pick up toys, buckle their safety belt, and clean up after themselves, we understand that having the racial talk once is not sufficient. So, yes, these events are current and, yes, it feels so imminent and so important that we have this conversation right now. There’s a lot going on in the media. There’s a lot going on that your children are hearing or experiencing and they have access to it in ways that years ago children would not have.

At this moment, you should be having conversations with your child. And next week when the protests have died down, you should continue having conversations with your child. And the month after that, you should continue. And weeks after that. At this point, the amount of content in books or media that is around you makes it possible to create a consistent environment. If that practice becomes consistent enough where you are bringing it up and you are letting them know this is an expectation you have for conversation, they will feel comfortable enough bringing it to you: “Mom, I noticed this.”

Use things in the environment, use things in your media, use things in books to ask your child what is it that they’re seeing, how can you support them through this, how do they feel about it?

MA: How can parents take care of their own well-being so they’re in the best position to help their kids?

REA: Our own well-being is compromised right now. We know that anxiety and depression are up three times the amount that they were in January. We are not doing well as a nation right now. If you need time as a parent to step away from this media and these types of conversations, remember that you are a human being, first and foremost—you’re not daddy or mommy first. You really are a human being who needs rest, restoration, self-care, love. There are tasks that parents have that are beyond description. You’re being asked to provide in ways that just defy the amount of energy you might have most days, especially in a stay-at-home-order situation where you are the go-to principal, teacher, nurse, etc.

Unless your child is so young that you cannot step away at all and it would be a physical danger for your child to be alone, if you need a moment to walk around the block or close a door, or to do something for yourself to engage in self-care, by all means, take it. As we’re starting to open up the community a bit more, if you need to create a small cluster of families with whom your child spends some time so that you can find some space and time on your own, by all means safely create that space. It is a cardinal and critical component of your child being well that you are well.

We’ve all heard the mask analogy. We’ve all experienced times where our behaviors can impact those of our children. We know that. It’s not just a saying; we really need you to be well, first and foremost. The practice I would really recommend is just to find time for yourself to carve out your wellness so that you can be the best parent that you can be for your child.

Maryam Abdullah, Ph.D.

Developmental psychologist, Parenting Program Director of the Greater Good Science Center

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

How Parents Can Support Their Transgender Teens

A new study shows that teens exploring their gender identity value simple acts of caring from their parents the most.

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

When teenagers confide that they are transgender or uncertain about their gender identity, their parents may be unsure how to offer support.

To understand what types of family support transgender adolescents consider helpful, a Stanford research team asked 25 of them for their thoughts. The team also interviewed the teens’ parents.

The actions teens said they valued most were among the simplest, the researchers discovered. Their findings were published in March in the Journal of Adolescent Health.

Teens said they most appreciated having parents use their preferred name and pronoun, as well as knowing that their parents were emotionally available and listening to their concerns.

The teenagers usually rated their parents as more supportive than the parents rated themselves, said Tandy Aye, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics at Stanford Medicine and a pediatric endocrinologist at the Stanford Children’s Health Pediatric and Adolescent Gender Clinic. Aye is the senior author of the study.

“Even when parents are thinking that there is tension over gender identity, that parent-child relationship is still super important,” said Aye. She spoke with Stanford Medicine News about her research.

Erin Digitale: Set the stage for this study. What was previously known about the value of family support for transgender children?

Tandy Aye: Kristina Olson, a researcher in Seattle, has studied how important family support is for young kids going through gender transition or who are gender-expansive, meaning their gender identity doesn’t fit neatly into traditional “boy” or “girl” categories. If they have a supportive family from the beginning, children who are transgender and gender-expansive don’t experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, or suicide compared with cisgender peers. Without family support, all those mental health risks increase substantially. And having family use a child’s preferred name and pronoun has been shown to be protective.

ED: What was new about your approach?

TA: In our study, we were trying to classify the commonalities in families that were supportive. No one had really looked at both perspectives—of transgender teens and of their parents—to see what support looks like.

We used a combination of closed-ended survey questions and open-ended interviews to get information about what parents and teens were thinking, saying, and doing at pivotal times during the teenager’s gender journey. We interviewed parents and adolescents separately; it was very important that we got their views independently.

Among those who seek care at our gender clinic, we meet all sorts of families, and as we were doing this study, we realized that there’s support and there’s acceptance, but they don’t always go hand in hand. Hopefully, support leads to acceptance. We hope we can use what we discovered to help families who are not initially supportive learn how to support their teens.

ED: What did teens tell you about the support they got from their families?

TA: The adolescents always rated their parents to be more supportive than the parents rated themselves. I think that’s surprising, since there can be times of tension between parents and children during adolescence; it is a hard time for anyone. Our finding just shows how much teens really value their parents.

When we asked each group what actions they saw as showing support, parents talked about taking their teen to the gender clinic, getting them connected to resources. But what the majority of adolescents wanted most was for parents just to use their preferred name and pronoun. That validated what another study had found.

Parents come to us worried about what a gender clinic would do, with lots of medical questions and concerns about taking those first steps toward the medical aspects of a gender transition. But we found that what adolescents want is just for their families to acknowledge that they’re exploring their gender. If you can use their preferred name and pronoun, it affirms that you support that exploration.

ED: You also talked with parents about their internal reactions. What did they say?

TA: We asked the parents: While you’re being supportive, what’s the struggle you’re having? I don’t think researchers have asked that of the families of transgender or gender-questioning adolescents before. We found that even parents who are being very supportive are still internally having an adjustment.

The things that were the hardest adjustments for them, interestingly, included using the child’s preferred name and pronoun. The child’s original name was the name that parents really thought about choosing before their child was born, and for the child to say that’s not their name anymore was often challenging for the parents. As to the pronoun, parents would say, “We’ve used it for so long.”

But most parents we spoke to were hiding their adjustment because they wanted to be perceived by their children as being as supportive as possible. I think this is a key takeaway from the study, especially for mental health providers. When the parents come in with their child and say, “Yes, we’re supportive,” it’s important to acknowledge what parents are experiencing and talk to parents about providing services for them, to help them process their own emotions.

ED: What takeaways from this study will be helpful for other families that you see in the Stanford Children’s gender clinic?

TA: When families come to us, they’re often thinking about hormones, surgery, and how difficult all those treatments at end of their child’s transition are going to be. Typically we bring parents back to the moment they’re in and ask, “Where is your child now? Where are you?”

Sometimes parents say, “We’re just having difficulty using the child’s preferred name and pronoun.” We talk about acceptance and ask them to just practice using the name and pronoun at home, and acknowledge to the family how important that support is to their teen. We also let them know that their teen may argue against them or shut down, but that the love they have for them is not forgotten, and it’s still very important to foster that relationship.

Our new research adds to the evidence that transgender adolescents’ perception of their parents’ support may be the key protective factor in the teens’ mental health. It’s that perception of support that parents want to nurture. What can you do? It’s things like offering a hug, being there to listen. These are things anyone can do. They are free and fully reversible, whatever path the teen takes in their gender journey. There are no medical side effects to listening and giving hugs, or trying your child’s preferred name and pronoun. It’s all about helping the teen fully explore who they are.

Erin Digitale, Ph.D.

Pediatrics science writer in the Office of Communications, Stanford University

This article originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

How the media may be making the COVID-19 mental health epidemic worse

This article originally appeared on The Conversation

Since the pandemic began, anxiety rates in the U.S. have tripled; the rate of depression has quadrupled. Now research is suggesting the media is part of the problem. Constantly watching and reading news about COVID-19 may be hazardous for your mental health.

We are professors who study the psychological effects on people caught up in crisis, violence and natural disasters. COVID-19 surely qualifies as a crisis, and our survey of more than 1,500 U.S. adults clearly showed that those experiencing the most media exposure about the pandemic had more stress and depression.

It’s understandable. The intimations of death and suffering, and the images of overwhelmed hospitals and intubated patients can be terrifying. COVID-19 has created an infodemic; members of the public are overwhelmed with more information than they can manage. And much of that information, especially online, includes disturbing rumors, conspiracy theories and unsubstantiated statements that confuse, mislead and frighten.

Stress worse for some than others

A June 2020 study of 5,412 U.S. adults says 40% of respondents reported struggling with mental health or substance use issues. This finding did not address whether respondents had COVID-19. Since then, some people who had COVID-19 are now reporting mental health issues that appeared within 90 days after their illness subsided.

Taking care of a relative or friend with the virus might result in mental health problems, and even just knowing someone with COVID-19 can be stressful. And if a family member or friend dies from it, anxiety and depression often follow the grief. This is even more likely if the individual dies alone – or if a memorial isn’t possible because of the pandemic.

Essential workers, from hospitals to grocery stores, have a higher risk for COVID-related mental health problems. This is particularly true for health care workers caring for patients who ultimately died from the virus.

Black and Hispanic adults also report more mental health issues, including substance abuse and thoughts of suicide. Having access to fewer resources and experiencing the systemic racism running through much of U.S. health care may be two of the factors. The COVID-19 pandemic also intersected with episodes of police violence toward Black Americans. This alone may have exacerbated mental health problems.

Children, young adults and college students also show comparatively worse mental health reactions. This could be due to the disconnect they feel, brought on by the isolation from peers, the loss of support from teachers and the disappearance of daily structure.

Setting limits essential

Staying informed is critical, of course. But monitor how much media you’re consuming, and assess how it affects you. If you are constantly worrying, feeling overwhelmed, or having difficulty sleeping, you may be taking in too much COVID media. If this is happening to you, take a break from the news and do other things to help calm your mind.

Parents should frequently check in with children to see how they are affected. Listening to and validating their concerns – and then providing honest responses to their questions – can be enormously helpful. If a child is having difficulty talking about it, the adult can start with open-ended questions (“How do you feel about what is happening?”). Reassure children that everything is being done to protect them and discuss ways to stay safe: Wear a mask, socially distance, wash hands.

Finally, you can model and encourage good coping skills for your children. Remind young people that good things are still happening in the world. Work together to list healthy ways to cope with COVID-19 stress. Then do them. These activities will help your children cope – and it will be good for you too.

J. Brian Houston

Associate Professor of Communication and Public Health, University of Missouri-Columbia

Jennifer M. First

University of Tennessee, College of Social Work, University of Tennessee

This article originally appeared on The Conversation

Finding Your Spark in the Digital Age

Growing up in the American school system, my English teachers always obsessively praised Shakespeare as the greatest playwright to ever exist, assigning his plays as part of our required reading. Whether it be Othello, Romeo & Juliet, or Hamlet, I often struggled to grasp the content and message of his plays. However, one quote from Shakespeare has always stuck with me. In the play As You Like It, Jacques says “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” 

The Digital Age

In today’s digital age, we are constantly performing for each other every moment of every day. Social media has blurred the line between audience and performer. We stare at our small rectangular screens for affirmation and self-worth, constantly comparing ourselves to the accomplishments and livelihoods of others. What do we want more than to lie in our bed at the end of the day and just watch our life as a satisfied audience member? Whether it be LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok, we are constantly reminded that there are people who are more attractive than us, who are more accomplished than us, who are better than us. Now, these platforms aren’t inherently bad. We are more connected with our friends and family around the world than ever before. Information has never been more accessible. However, the algorithms have created a system where we aren’t the consumer, but the product. This can take a toll on an individual, especially in a capitalist society that demands that we perform as a measurement of success. We’re constantly questioned by teachers, neighbors, friends, and family about what we want to be when we grow up. Is it a realistic and sustainable goal? How can you actively pursue it?  Do you have a back-up plan? And the consequences are considerable. As the pandemic continues, the number of people reporting anxiety and depression nationwide is at an all-time high, hitting young people the hardest. Thus, content creators and industry decision-makers have a moral responsibility to address these issues, as what we view on-screen reaches beyond entertainment into the topics of mental health, identity, and purpose.

My Experience

When I first went to college, I began having panic attacks for the first time in my life. Moving away from home and becoming independent was something I was not prepared for. I just felt overwhelmed by all of these expectations and responsibilities to perform. Still, the stigma around mental health especially in the Asian community dissuaded me from seeking help. I powered through it on my own, with some successes and many failures along the way. However, by my junior year, the panic attacks became so unbearable that I knew it was time for the last resort and I decided to seek therapy.  And I’m glad to say that it’s been of tremendous help. Don’t get me wrong, I still get anxious, but I’ve slowly begun to learn to take everything one step at a time, to appreciate the little things, and most of all, to not align my self-worth with my accomplishments. Being an avid film lover, I wondered if there was a movie that captured my lived experience but could not find one that truly spoke to me. Then, on Christmas Day, Disney+ released their latest installment to the Pixar canon, Soul.

Finding Your Spark

While movies are meant to entertain, I’ve always been drawn to films that inspire. Soul accomplishes both by treating its audience not as mindless zombies but as capable, intelligent beings with articulate thoughts. Its central theme is that finding a purpose or passion isn’t what makes someone a person — just existing, and living, makes you a person. True fulfillment can only be found when we stop performing for others and find beauty in the everyday things that life has to offer. It can be the effervescent glow of sunlight as it gleams through our bedroom window, the taste of morning brewed coffee, the sound of laughter with a loved one, or the smell of the sky after a night of pouring rain. Getting through a tumultuous 2020 is an award in itself, you shouldn’t feel self-critical if you didn’t get your dream job or GPA. Having goals is normal, but don’t let your dreams and the desire for success distract you from the beauty of life, otherwise, you’re at risk of it becoming an obsession and you may become like one of those monsters in Soul, withering your life away filled with regret once death comes knocking. Your spark isn’t a passion, it’s the very essence, or soul, that indicates a human is a human and you are ready to live.

In Pixar’s previous film Inside Out, Riley has an imaginary friend named Bing Bong who I consider to be the greatest Disney Pixar character ever. He represents the spirit of childhood within us all, and he sacrifices himself so that Joy could get back to headquarters, causing Riley to forget him in the process. It represents that we must lose our childhood innocence to function in society, but I argue that it’s that exact childlike wonder that holds the key to our fulfillment. Life itself is simply meant to be lived, so enjoy the little things and be grateful for what you already have instead of longing for what you don’t. As creatives, you can teach your audience through your content to learn more from young people, maintain that youthfulness in your soul, and most importantly, never forget your Bing Bong.

Actionable Insights

• Treat your audience with intelligence and don’t be afraid of weighty themes

• Write characters that don’t tie their self worth with their passion/career, and instead live a balanced lifestyle

• Start a conversation about using social media responsibly, emphasizing the content rather than the screen time

• Emphasize in plot points the importance of actively living every day with gratitude, finding joy in the little things, and not comparing one’s self to others

• Provide resources and supplemental material for children and adolescents seeking help

Jeremy Hsing

CSS Intern